Sticky Fingers

(Two boys walk into a convenience store)

Jonathon: Finally! A whole week’s work finally paid off! A full five dollars! (Holds out money so the audience can see.)

Tommy:  Oh! I’m gonna buy this one. It’s only three dollars!

Jonathon: Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. You don’t want to spend all that money do you? Wouldn’t you rather save up the money up for next week so you could get something really cool?

Tommy: Nope. I want the candy bar.

Jonathon: Well, you can still get it. All you have to do is take it without anyone noticing!

Tommy: Um…Jonathon…isn’t that stealing?

Jonathon: No, of course not! It’s more like…borrowing without asking.

Tommy: Well…I don’t know.

Jonathon: Oh, come on. What’s the worse that could happen?

Tommy: Well, let’s see. First off we could caught. And then the police would come, and we’d get taken to jail! They’d call us the Chocolate Bandits! Oh, I don’t want to go to jail! I’d miss mom and dad and…

Jonathon: (cutting Tommy off) Tommy, Tommy! I didn’t want you to actually tell me. Besides, that wouldn’t happen anyway. Your older brother happens to be the best chocolate stealer, (Tommy gives him a dirty look) I mean…borrower, the world has ever seen!

Tommy: Wait…you can’t mean you, can you?

Jonathon: Yes I mean me! I’m a pro. And I’m nice enough to teach you the secrets to…borrowing chocolate. What do you say?

Tommy: Well…fine. As long as we’re not stealing them!

Jonathon: Of course not! Now, what you do first is make sure no one is looking. (Looks around.) Then you…take it! (Picks up candy bar and quickly stuffs it into his pocket.) It’s that easy.

Tommy: Yeah, I can do that! Okay, look around, and make sure no one’s looking. (Looks around and spots someone looking in their direction.) Hey you! Yeah, you! Don’t look over this way! ‘Cause I am not gonna take this candy bar, that’s why! (Turns toward Jonathon.) See, I’m doing great!

Jonathon: No, you don’t tell them what you’re going to do!

Tommy: I didn’t. I said I wasn’t gonna take the candy bar.

Jonathon: Whatever. Just take it now while no one’s looking.

Tommy: Mk. (Picks up a candy bar, but doesn’t put it in his pocket.)

Jonathon: Hurry, put it in your pocket! The store manager is coming! (Tommy stuffs candy bar in his pocket.) Well hello there!

Manager: You two weren’t, stealing, were you?

Jonathon: What? Us steal? I don’t want know what you’re talking about.

Tommy: Yeah, we’re not stealing them; we’re borrowing them without asking. Duh.

Jonathon: Uh, don’t listen him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Manager: Then why don’t you let me check your pockets?

Jonathon: Why would you want to check our pockets? There’s nothing in there!

Manager: Then explain to me what’s poking out of your pocket.

Jonathon: Uh, well…it’s not chocolate!

Tommy: Uh, yes it is. See, I have one too. (Pulls out his candy bar)

Jonathon: Tommy!

Manager: Why don’t you pay for them, and I won’t tell your parents.

Jonathon: (sighs) Yes ma’am. (Both give her money, and begin to walk out of the store. Jonathon turns toward Tommy.) I’m never taking you shopping again! (Storms out of the store, infuriated)

Tommy: (running after him) What? But you have to teach me how borrow baseball cards next week!